Phases of life and social roles

Part 3a

Midlife stages reconsidered - taking charge of your life

Until recently adults were thought of as being developmentally on a plateau. Children develop physically and became adolescents; adolescents develop into adults. Then a static plateau across the life span is presumed until individuals become old and begin to again reveal developmental influences.

The assumption was made that during the time between adolescence and old age there are no systematic changes occurring. Since there is no obvious growth or decline, any changes are related primarily to external events, such as death of a spouse or loss of a job. People were expected to become mature, responsible citizens conducting productive lives. Problems and difficulties that occurred were not seen as related to changes of an individual at a given time in life. It was as though people were like butterflies emerging from the cocoon of adolescence and for half a century or so becoming nice sensible butterflies.

Does this statement appear extreme? Yes, but it does point up the difference between what we consider to be "ages and stages" up until the late teens, and what we consider occurring when people reach adulthood. Such a static and simplified model may have been appropriate for an era in which efforts of most individuals were spent in feeding, clothing, rearing children, and taking care of other basic family needs.

When so much time and energy is needed for basic maintenance of family and self, little thought or effort can go into meeting other needs. Under these conditions, there is little that can be done to deliberately enhance self-development of individuals in the family.

The concept of "different strokes for different folks" applies in most aspects of social interaction. Categorising people by the stages in life is only one method of defining a life cycle. Another mode of definition uses changes in social position and social roles in society: puberty, marriage, parenthood, and many others. Wide differences exist among societies in their representations of the ending and beginning of Midlife. http://midmac.med.harvard.edu/bullet4.html

In many traditional societies - as in rural India - it is the social position and not the chronological age by which one considers and manages one's life. Many instances reveal an image of life course based not on age or physical wellbeing, but on logic of social responsibility, family management and moral duty. Changes are regulated by social events and transitions in the family group. Despite the so-called values of modernisation, sexual abstinence is an expected social norm before marriage; and unmarried motherhood is frowned upon. Many people do not know their age and, in any case, age is subordinate to transitions in the family that set the terms of Midlife.

Thus, defining Midlife through chronological age is only one of the philosophical points of view. Research reveals a definite developmental pattern of specific, age-linked phases subsequently shown to affect the lives of individuals, shaping behaviour and governing emotional states and attitudes.

Some researchers have now begun to look at the development process of adults. A look at what is meant by development is important. It is not a mere accumulation and a discarding of information and experiences. It is, rather, a moving from the simple to the complex. New concepts are being constructed at new ways of looking at life - not just from the passage of time but also from a mix of events and experiences.

For example, it is not being 40 or having lived 40 years that moves a person into a re-evaluation of their condition, but having been married 20 years, or being at the peak of a career, or seeing the youngest child move out of the home.

Other researchers on adult development focus on social norms that influence a person's perception of age. Age is not a meaningful predictor of social and psychological behaviour unless the social framework is considered incorporating three "times" which, interacting simultaneously influence the development of adults.

Neugarten (1973) comments that many of the major shifts of the life cycle are not only orderly and sequential, but many are social, rather than biological in nature and their timing is socially regulated. These concepts point to a way of structuring the passage of time, in delineating a social time clock superimposed on the biological clock.

Whereas some researchers saw definite stages throughout the adult years, others saw rather an evolutionary process in which there is no universally scheduled crisis. A crisis could occur at any time - or never.

Much of this evolutionary process is revealed in how adults view adulthood. Childhood delivers most people into adulthood with a view of adults that few could live up to. A child's view of an adult can become the adult's painful measure of himself.

If we don't take a good look at this unrealistic picture of adulthood we may continue to live under circumstances of dependence on others and cling to some false illusions of safety and protection. We can't really be our own person when others define us. We may become frozen in childhood morality with our parents' version of good and bad. As such, we do not trust our own assessment of reality, and are in constant need of endorsement of someone who is bigger, smarter, older, or wiser.

Today, people are better able to develop into adults. Individuals have opportunities for creative exploration of their own growth potentials. By outgrowing the traditional assumptions of the phases of life illusions of safety need to be discarded if people want to develop into adults. In studying men's lives, literature indicates alternating stable and transition periods. These periods were not defined in terms of concrete behaviours, such as the "terrible twos" or in terms of events, such as the "empty nest" but rather in terms of the development of new life structure.

Levinson (1978) has a biographical approach looking at the evolution of individual life structures. In examining the lives of individual men he found stable periods of six or seven years and transition periods of four or five years. In the stable periods, work and family choices were enriched-developed-unquestioned. In the transition period, reappraisal of work and family led to new life structures in the next stable period.

In this connection, Guttman (1975) compared several cultures and on finding interesting similarities and recurring themes developed the concept of the Parental Imperative. He noted that in all of the widely scattered cultures of his study group, men became more emotional and more sensitive with age and women more competitive. The young men emphasised the physical and the competitive while playing down their feelings. The young women were more emotional and nurturing. These characteristics were appropriate for their roles in the family at the time, but as they grew old and family roles changed, men were freer to be emotional; women were freer to be assertive.

Despite exceptions and numerous qualifications, scholars have identified some commonly accepted stages in the development of the adult. The origin of these periods lie both in the nature of humans and in the nature of society; the periods do not represent simply an unfolding of the maturational possibilities from within a person; they are thus different from the stages of childhood development, which are seen largely as an internal unfolding. Neither are the periods simply a function of the adult social structures, they do not simply represent stages in a career sequence shaped by job, education, or family.

Midlife (42-65): The stages reconsidered.

valuating personal satisfaction
The Thirties is a time to assess gains, possibly asking if the gains are worth the price. It is a time to evaluate personal satisfaction and to consider some previously ignored alternatives.

Reflection and consolidation
The late thirties to early forties is a period of consolidation, a time to build a timetable for the future. It is a time for feeling a sense of mastery and of competence. It may be a time for self-reflection, a pause to look at deeper strivings that had been put aside during the twenties when building a workable life structure was most important. This is a period of Midlife transition. Exact year identification becomes increasingly difficult. The transition may come as early as the late 30s or even as late as the early 50s. It is a period when perceptions become more important than chronology. How a person feels about life experiences is more significant than a chronological timetable indicating years of life. It is a period marked by stress for some, by constraints for others, and by freedom for still others. For men, health and job concerns may dominate. While near the peak of their careers, they may see the encroachment of youth and change. For many women, it may be seen as a time for freedom from childbearing responsibilities and a time for the opening up of opportunities to pursue interests in personal development or career explorations.

This transition period may be seen as a crisis if there is failure in the expected timetable one has set for oneself - no promotion as anticipated, marriage in trouble, or sudden death of a loved one. It is a time when the difference between gaining and losing what has been dreamed seems to be less important than the difference between the dream itself and reality. Some may ask: is this all there is to life? To put it another way, it is not a matter of how many rewards one has obtained; it is a matter of the goodness of fit between the life structure and the stirring of powerful forces within that lead to modification or a drastically changed life structure. People in this stage have usually come to terms with life as stable personalities. They may or may not have dealt with the illusions of life discussed earlier, and if they haven't, they are not likely to in the future.

Midlife transition is the time when you don't know whether to blame your problems on your parents or on your children.

It is a time to value wisdom over physical prowess. It is a time to place greater emphasis on socialising, or interaction with other people as persons and less emphasis on seeing a sexual opportunity in every encounter with a person of the opposite sex. It is a time for mental flexibility rather than rigidity. It is a time for emotional flexibility rather than emotional poverty. This is often crucial at the point of diminishing closer connection with whom a strong dependence has developed. Emotional flexibility can be strained at this point.

Late adulthood
Some individuals choose early retirement during the lower boundary of late adulthood. This is the period of Midlife that is no longer considered old age but rather as the "young old." They are not biologically, sociologically, or mentally like the stereotype of decrepit, senile old. Rather, they are healthy, often well educated, and the major consumers of leisure in our society. Many continue in the labour force while others may become politically active and community oriented. They are the first to reach the society of the future, a society that values personal development, community engagement, and political activity over a task-oriented work ethic.

The "young old" are the re-emergence of the excluded. Getting situated twenty years earlier may have forced them to establish some part of the total being as "me", as "my identity" and exclude other parts. With the end of the dream the excluded parts then emerge. If we look at the reference to Guttman's research we see also the tendency of men to develop attributes our society labels as feminine (e.g. nurturing behaviour) in Midlife.

Older seniors
Older seniors at 85+ is often marked by declining physical powers, health, or the loss of loved ones. However, many are very active and make significant contributions to society. Garson Kanin (1979) has written a wonderful book, It takes so long to become young in which he illustrates many examples of people in their 80s and 90s who are very much alive and doing exciting things. And so, Midlife is now considered from a new perspective that states: To be young is to be unripe, unfinished, raw, awkward, unskilled, and inept; to be mature is to be ready, whole, adept, wise.

Which is it for you?

10 october 2003

References

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